I told my therapist a list of things I want to do the other day. The list included writing more, trying to get published, fixing a medical issue once and for all, and organizing a Creative Writing class reunion. She said that I was repeating myself. I had told her that I wanted to do […]
Last weekend, my guy friend (let’s call him John) came over to hangout with my boyfriend and me at our apartment. We were chatting about his love life, when John turned the conversation to an old subject. He brought up a mutual girl friend of ours that he would totally “fuck” (let’s call her Jane). John asked […]
I went down to Office Services the other day to tell someone that after weeks of meticulously planning a surprise scrapbook, photography portfolio, and family album as a three-part present for my boyfriend’s birthday, I lost my phone, the wallet cover attached to it, and therefore my work ID card. Office Services is where my workplace […]
I try to tell myself that I don’t care for you anymore, but sometimes I still dream about you.
Months ago, I dreamed that I visited you in your dorm room at Binghamton. The room was revamped into Hello Kitty pink and plush. You let me sit on your bed even though I was wearing “outside” clothes and this time you didn’t scream when my jeans hit your laundry fresh blankets. Continue reading Dear Ex-Best Friend
Walking over to the McNally Jackson bookstore in Soho on a Thursday night, I was already getting nervous. I was assigned by my professor to go to this reading event, Future Sex by Emily Witt, with some of my classmates. He challenged us to try to mingle with the crowd there together, to help each other if any of us got shy. After all, as aspiring writers, it was important for our careers to start interacting with the literary sphere. But as an anxiety-prone girl who was already regretting wearing her high-heeled boots in cobblestoned Soho, who was already aware of strangers who might catch sight of her stumbles, who was already dreading the implications of the word “mingle,” I decided that this was an impossible task.
This past September, my professor asked our small class of 15 students how our day was. As this was a Creative Writing class at NYU, his question was seen as an open invitation to rant. One student shared that she was harassed by a homeless man in the middle of Starbucks. Another said that a stranger threw a cup of water at her on the subway. A third mentioned that she was having a horrible day because due to a panic attack, she had to drop classes and become a part-time student. I could definitely relate to the first two stories–as an NYC resident, it’s almost impossible to avoid a crazy encounter–but the third struck me the most. I remembered that was my exact situation about two years ago.
In the Spring of 2014, I had returned to NYU from a year-long medical leave during which I was struggling with my anxiety and depression issues. I was eager…
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